Why It’s Time to Ditch the "New Year, New Me” Mantra

Unpopular opinion: I don’t believe in rejoicing in the new year, new me hype.

If you have access to the internet, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. The Pinterest-worthy quotes, the gimmicky gym slogans, the never-ending ads on social media that promise a new you if you buy their product— they are all vying for our attention when January 1st rolls around.

And, a part of me understands it.

There’s something auspicious about the calendar change. And, I know that time is a construct, but the new year feels like an invitation— one that has to do with opportunity for change but also leaving the past behind. There’s something about entering a new year and knowing there are things we’re leaving behind.

It’s a chance to take only what we need and let the remaining of our past stay just as it is— safely and delicately tucked away into our memories.

But, there’s a catch.

Just because you’re leaving the past in the past doesn’t mean it hasn’t already played an integral role in who you’ve become.

I may not know who you are or the beautiful mess of a story that you’re privileged to call your own, but I can confidently say you’ve likely worked incredibly hard to get to this very moment in time.

You carried the weight of the world on your shoulders, felt the heaviness that only a defeated spirit knows, and trudged through some pretty deep sludge to simply rest your weary heart at the end of the day.

The past can be heartbreakingly daunting, that I’m sure of. But, it can also be a powerful tool in the becoming of the person you are today. Knowing this is where the magic starts to happen. It’s where you start to realize the fallacy behind the promise in “new year, new me” for it doesn’t take into account the grit and strength that you put into the year(s) before.

It doesn’t give you the credit you deserve.

One of the most toxic messages this so-called mantra is trying to send is “you’re not good enough.” you’re not worthy enough, or capable enough, or whatever adjective it is that’s coaxing you into believing the hype that comes with a “new” you.

So, let me ask you this. Think back to who you were on January 1st of last year. Think about all the trials and triumphs that led you to the here and now, the messes and messages that built your character, and the everyday in-between that propelled you forward.

Would you say there was purpose in your pain? Magic in the mundane?

Living with a disease as debilitating as spinal muscular atrophy, I can easily list off the pain I endure, the challenges I face, and the overall shortcomings that I experience on a regular basis. I can easily tell myself a new ”me” sounds much more encouraging and hopeful than the “me” I am today.

I can tell myself a lot of shiny promises embedded in newness, but what about the “me” I am right here, right now? Shouldn’t she account for something? Isn’t she someone already worth celebrating?

The short answer to that question is yes. Always and unequivocally yes.

When I take inventory of years past and retrace those challenges, I begin to recognize a common thread. I begin to string together a series of moments that were rooted in pain but blossomed into a deeper-rooted purpose.

And, suddenly, I’m hit with a profound reminder that a new “me” wouldn’t hold the wisdom and experiences that she does today. A new “me” would never know the power of resiliency she already carries in her heart.

A new “me” would never be as equipped as she is right now to handle all that is challenging and hard.

But, hidden in this truth, there will be moments of doubt. No matter how dedicated you are to the person you’ve worked so hard to become, there will be momentary lapses in judgment.

There will be times you discount your strengths when they are masked by struggle and times you feel unworthy when you’re cloaked in fear. There will be times you feel compelled to buy into the promise of a new you because maybe a fresh start seems necessary. And there will be times when you tell yourself you’re not enough.

So, in that moment you are drawn to the idea of becoming a brand new person, you must always remember:

You’ve fought a damn good fight to make this far.

And maybe it was filled with battle wounds and scars.

But it holds the story of a person who was strong enough to fight them— a person whose strength was not defined by becoming someone new but rather becoming confident with the person they already are. So, before you begin to discount who you’ve become, know you deserve so much more credit than that.

New year, new approach

When you reflect on the road to now, you may come to the conclusion that it didn’t go as planned. You may have regrets and mistakes made along the way, but you’ll also be able to collect moments of growth that shaped you into the person you are today.

And you’ll notice these moments didn’t extend an offer to become someone new. They simply attested the strength already within you to endure the storms ahead.

They simply made way for a better version of yourself to emerge from the rubble.

So, let growth be your motivator, but never lose sight of the person who has worked incredibly hard in getting you to this very moment in time. Who you are is more than enough to carry you through whatever lies ahead.

And who you’re going to become will thank this person someday.